Self Appeal® Founder
I created Self Appeal® as a way for women to feel beautiful and confident in their bodies so their personal relationships are successful.
After working with women for twenty years, I find that most women struggle with thinking they don’t measure up in others’ eyes. What they really want is to be honored, valued and loved exactly as they are. I show them how to do this through the self-appeal process I developed and teach in on-line classes, in-person workshops and personal coaching.
Based on my unique stage experience, knowledge from having worked with women of different shapes, sizes, and ethnicities, and hard-won skills navigating my own relationships, I teach women to become self-assured and attractive in all areas of life. This belief and trust in themselves empowers them to speak up and be heard so they get their innermost needs met. They stop people-pleasing and comparing themselves to others. They become authentically whole, grow positive self-care, develop happy, loving, supportive relationships and experience more joy in life.
Although I’d gained a prestigious technical degree and stood toe to toe with professional engineers, physicists, CEOs, and managers for twelve years, I didn’t know how to be heard, didn’t feel “smart,” had no confidence in my appearance or my skills, had personal relationships that were strained and romantic relationships that always failed. I was chaotic, confused, hollow, and escaped myself through drugs and alcohol. After getting sober at thirty-four, I continued escaping through exercise, work, food, and men.
It was only after standing confidently on a stage although feeling insecure inside and learning to grow my esteem from the inside out, that I am now able to walk with self-assurance, feel and treat my body well and interact in relationships so they’re fulfilling and happy. After having no relationships that lasted longer than a year, I married at the age of forty-eight and have been married for over ten years.
What I learned as a successful older exotic dancer and after talking with thousands of men, I began teaching women in the San francisco Bay Area. Based on those well-attended classes sponsored by The Leaning Annex, Good Vibrations and the San Jose Metro, I created the global DVD, Striptease for Real Women, that featured ten real-women students. Touted as the “newest trend in body awareness therapy,” on Bay Area Magazine, I took this empowering message and fun event to women through giving bachelorette parties and teaching them sexy playful strip routines for their partner in the privacy of their own home. Longer dance classes and workshops evolved through student demand and women from eighteen to eighty enrolled. Many felt, as one young woman said, “this is the most empowering thing I’ve ever done.”
After working with and hearing from thousands of women, these artful fun events evolved into greater Self Appeal® philosophies, and I began speaking to business women about growing their internal validation for greater professional gain. Discovering that professional women often put themselves last, I offered classes such as “Eliminate Your Inner Critic,” “Positive Habits, Positive You,” and “Relationship Building Blocks for Smart Savvy Women,” all with an internal focus because confidence grows from the inside out. While compliments will temporarily make us feel good, they will not sustain our esteem and confidence for continued relationship or life success.
With a focus on empowering women, I’ve spoken at San Francisco State University, UC Berkeley, CSU Stanislaus Panhellenic Society, a local chapter of the National Organization of Women, women’s retreats and business groups. I’ve appeared on Fox News and been interviewed in San Francisco Bay Area media. My writing has appeared in Gauntlet and Men’s Health Magazines and an anthology, Flesh for Fantasy, Producing and Consuming Exotic Dance. My memoir, From Sex Appeal to Self Appeal: Stripping Barriers to Recovery—Leaving Addiction, Returning to Body and Mind chronicles my unique journey away from approval-seeking and external validation to one of internal validation and self-respect. In my TEdx Wilmington talk, Self Appeal, Not Sex Appeal to Embrace Your Sexual Body, I illuminate my journey and advocate why it’s important that all women own their bodies.
I currently live on the East Coast with my husband and six rescue animals.
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